Saturday, March 10, 2007


Saw 300 yesterday. It was great. Two hours of well-choreographed hacking and slashing. The most gory ballet you'll ever see. No moral to be learned here, just glorifying all things badass. Okay, so the movie was fun, but the context in which I saw it was even better.

I went to the theater after work with four other guys. I was really tired, but was getting all fired up about this dudefest to be had. We had discussed the possibility of watching the movie with no shirts on and our faces painted.

We walked into the theater just as the previews were getting started. I looked up at the audience and saw no women. Not a single one. Just a bunch of blood-thirsty looking dudes, many without sleeves. The whole place smelled of sweat and popcorn. Oh there was going to be much fist pumping over the next two hours. Maybe even punch the arm of the guy next to me.

The movie started with much frustration. The audio would drop out during the intro. Probably for only a second at a time every thirty seconds, but enough to seem like forever. The crowd was very patient the first couple of times this happened, but there was a very low-pitched growl starting throughout. By the time they fixed the problem, it sounded like I was in a theater full of grizzlies. I guess I kinda was.

The next two hours was just too much fun. Many cheers and whoops as the blood flowed. Every time a head was severed in slow motion, somebody in the room had to yell out, "Oh fuck yeah!" Neeley sat next to a big guy (250 minimum) with no sleeves and tattoos to eternity and a giant tub of popcorn. Every time it started to look like a battle scene was to break out, he would hunch over the popcorn and start chowing down like a caveman. The whole theater seemed to be on the same page.

After the movie ended we were kinda in the mood for a barfight, but the hormones eventually wore off on the ride home and sleep took over. I passed out on the couch as soon as I got home and didn't wake up for another five hours. Yes, I suggest you see 300. However, you need to see it in similar context. Get your dudes together and find a packed and rowdy theater with a kick-ass screen and loud-as-hell audio. It's like going to one of those shirtless bonfire man retreats, but for only about $10.