Sunday, March 22, 2009


A couple of months I railed against UPS because of a really slow delivery. Well now I'm ready to make a bit of a retraction because of something I never considered: Highjacking!!

Yesterday we had National Geographic's Air Emergency on in the afternoon. The emergency that really caught my eye was the story of FedEx Flight 705. Highjacking aren't usually all that cool, but this one was EPIC!

One of the flight employees went nuts and attempted to highjack the plane. He wanted to crash the plane into the FedEx headquarters. It was a kamakaze plan, but for whatever reason he wanted to conceal the highjacking. So he tried to highjack the plane using hammers and a speargun. Starting to get really badass.

Crazy guy started by cracking some heads with the hammer and held up the crew with the speargun. The pilot had a fractured skull, but still had it in him to for some movie tricks. He spun the plane completely upside-down, giving the two other crew members (also with fractured skulls) the upperhand. They attacked crazy guy and had themselves a crazy badass upside-down hammer fight.

Oh yeah, there was a speargun in the middle of things too.

By the end of it, they were able to take crazy guy down with another fractured skull. And the pilot was able to keep the DC-10 from destroying itself, even as he flew like he was Iceman. Oh yeah, he also only had control over one side of his body. A hammer to the head will do that to you.

Okay so after seeing that, maybe I can cut UPS some slack. I didn't consider that an upside-down hammer fight at 10,000 feet might cause some delays in package delivery. I do know that this was FedEx, rather than UPS. I can overlook that though. Dry-erase board guy might fuck some shit up too. You never know.